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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Cliff notes

One of the things that happens when you move is you need to go make new friends. This use to be hard for me many years ago. I've gotten better at it and have gained some really great friends. I guess I've just been lucky to be put in the path of so many awesome people.
The one thing that I think should happen when you meet a new potential friend (P.F.) however is you need to give them notes, something like cliff notes. Like those ones you read in Highschool where you skimmed it looking for the important stuff instead of actually READING the book. Yeah, those ones, I hear they have them available for an audio download now.
These notes would have anything in it that creates the Unique story of you. Not because your story isn't worth reading, because it is, instead it would be just because there is so many years of story to be explained.
This would serve as the background of YOU! All the things that make you who you are! It would have pertinent information like age, hair color (real or fake), favorite foods and activities. Where you've lived, siblings, parents, children, etc., etc., etc. HMMM, I guess it would be very similar to an online dating ad!
Imagine meeting a new P.F. You realize that there are so many things you would love to talk to her about but you also realize that there's some background story that needs to be explained. VOILA! Handy little cliff notes all about YOU! She can read it all at once, take her time or just refer to it whenever you need her to be up to date on a certain story line.
When a problem arises and you go to your new P. F. there is no need to re-explain everything. Just give her chapter and verse of the cliff notes for her reference. She is up to date on your lifetime of woes. Problem with the In-laws but no time to catch up P.F. on all the logistics? Handy dandy  P.F. Cliff Notes to the rescue! Have her read and call you back ASAP.
I'm really loving this idea. I really think it could work. What would  you put in the cliff notes of your life?


Do you ever feel like you've been typecast. You know where no matter what you do, or say people are always going to think what they want of you? Yeah, that's where I am right now.
I've been typecast as this person who really has no feelings and cares very little of others. I've lived with it for awhile and always thought that I'd change those views. I've become similar to some desperate out of work actress. I thought I could become like Angelina Jolie. If she can change her image as a wild weirdo to a doting charitable mother than it should be easy for me.
How wrong I was.
To some people no matter what you do, what you say, how you behave they will always think the worst of you. They will assume you can't change and haven't changed. Maybe because it is easier for them to hold onto the past.
I really don't know.
I just know that I feel like no matter what I do certain people will always think the worst of me or that I'm putting on an act. Which is very ironic because for the last few years I'm the most genuine ME that I have ever been. I'm comfortable with who I am. I've learned from my past, I love my present and I look forward to the future me. The things I do and say are no longer an act.
What I need to start doing is just not caring as much because being typecast is a little suffocating to me. It hurts when I feel I've conquered the old type and moved on only to be shoved back to that role of mean, selfish and ungiving.
I have no ideas. I just know I hurt and I"m tired of it. If I quit caring does that not essentially change who I am? Maybe it is time to change that a part of me, that part that is a people pleaser, the one that looks for the applause. Maybe that's my lesson here and I haven't learned it.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

One of my favorite things

I'm not a person that goes to church every Sunday or even on special Holidays. I haven't actually been to church in years. (yes mom, I know I should visit God's house more than I visit your house). However, I am a very spiritual person. I believe in a God, whether it be Catholic, Mormon, Hindu, Muslim or any other God out there. You see God's presence everywhere on this earth and my life goes so much smoother when I just let God lead the way. He knows what he's doing even if I don't agree with it at the time.

So, One of my most favorite things since first coming to Singapore is how they incorporate all these different religions into daily life. It doesn't matter what religion you are or what God you believe in just as long as you believe. Some of the places of worship are so grand and beautiful, I need to go explore some of them more. Just walking or driving by some of them can have you feeling the presence of God.

This last week as I was driving I saw a regular 3 lane road become a one way road because people were parking on the road to go and pray. No one seemed bothered by traffic being so slow or that there were so many cars double parked. It is just a common way of life here. To me it was uplifting. I need to remember to take time and pray and thank God no matter where I am during the day. Who says God is only open on Sundays? Or even only in a church? Not only were the cars all lined up, and even some buses, but the shoes were all lined up outside the building. It felt very spirtual and really warmed my heart.

Today the kids are off of school for a public holiday. Hari Raya Haji is a muslim holiday about pilgrimage and sacrifice. More information can be found HERE and HERE. It shows a whole different side to the Muslim religion that not everyone knows about. I love how people who make the pilgrimage can get their white caps or songkoks and take the title of Haji for men and Haajjah for women. These are things I didn't know about but I am enjoying learning about. These are the things that I love showing my kids, how although we are all different we can all co-exist peacefully.

There are so many food places that are Halal friendly. Which means it is permissable for Islams to eat. These are usually next to or very near places that serve the beef or pork. At IKEA the other day there was a sign for a prayer room. IN IKEA! (picture is not that great) 

I love that! I love showing my kids the tolerance and acceptance of the other religions and their practices. We don't have to believe what they believe but we should be respectful of their views.

That is just one of the many things that are becoming my favorites! I look forward to many more. Selemat Hari Raya - Peaceful celebration day.

Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm not going to lie

So I checked with my Calendar and it seems we have been in Singapore for 6 full weeks now. I'm not gonna's been harder than I thought it would be. ALOT harder in many ways, but I really wouldn't change it. I still like the adventure I just hate the adjusting.

Like I was telling a new friend, take everything you know...all the old go to's for dinner, or discipline or easy dates and throw it out the window because either they don't work here or you just can't find what you need/want. My laundry is now halved for each load and takes 3 times as long! I don't have a dishwasher and have to turn on a heater for hot water, anywhere in the house!  I can make pancakes but need to do the conversions from cups to milliliters, this is true on any of the cooking, my floors are all wood or marble and I can't find a mop that is worth it.  It's those types of little things that by themselves would not be such a problem but put it all together and it just becomes overwhelming.

Those first couple weeks I felt like everyone wanted me to do the same things I had been doing in Utah to take care of everyone but it just wasn't possible here. Everyone was looking at me to do what I do and fix it, but I couldn't. I felt very inept. We didn't have all of our things and I was unsure where to get most of the other stuff. We did alot of online searching and going all over this Island to find anything and when we found some of our "regular comforts" we ended up paying more. Sometimes we couldn't find our old go to's so we've had to figure other things out. Singapore is very westernized in alot of ways and not so much in others. And it's those others that become too much some days. Those others are the things that stress you out and make you exhausted from just trying to figure it all out!

The thing is I knew it would be an adjustment, we all did and we were all prepared for it as best as we could. I guess I was unprepared for just how much I alone would have to adjust. There were a few days where all I did was lay in bed because the adjustments can be draining. A few days where I didn't want to think AT ALL and some days where I just wanted everyone to leave me alone and figure it out their damn selves! Other times where I've just cried or yelled at Bob because I am lost and don't know what else to do. Neither of us really understood why I was crying or yelling but he indulged me.

I didn't want to write that I had problems or how hard it can be because I don't want to sound like a whiner and I don't want anyone to worry but I can't lie, it's been hard many days. We've all had our ups and downs emotionally and have been struggling to find our new family rhythm. But don't worry, it's all part of the process. We are normal for once! I think we are getting the hang of it a little and we aren't yelling at eachother as much. I think there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I'm in an arranged marriage

I decided I wanted to get a smart phone while we were here in Singapore. I heard about the navigation maps and I REALLY needed one of those! I am the world's worst navigator and the only reason I found malls is because of the smell! Truth be told, I've been lost in a mall a few times, and not as a kid!
So, I ask my sister's boyfriend, aka W, to help me pick a phone because he seems to know his electronical stuff. I decide to go with a HTC desire instead of the all popular Iphone 4 because of the android operating system...W said it was better so that's why.
I'm excited to get my phone and it takes almost 2 full weeks of being here to get it. I open the package all ready for it  to start smarting me out. Oh and how it outsmarte me! I could barely turn it on! It took me a few days to figure out how answer a call and I'm still not sure how to add other people as a contact!

And texting! OMG!!! NIGHTMARE!!! I have fat fingertips and so I am always typing the wrong thing. My Jake has been renamed to James and my friend Vickie is now Dixie. My phone thinks it's so smart it redoes my typing! Stupid phone. I won't even talk about the sexts I wanted to send my hubby but somehow they got saved in my drafts and I can't even find the draft folder!  If it accidentally gets posted to facebook I'm going to be mortified!

I figured out how to get to my mail in my phone and so I emailing my sister back and forth and feeling that "look at me! I'm all emailing on my phone, how cool am I?" feeling, man was a feeling AWESOME! We were just joking around when I went to go drop the f bomb, as usual and instead the smart powers of my phone turn it into DUCK! Not what I was looking for! See, not so smart!

I can use the calendar but sometimes it beeps at me for no apparant reason. I haven't even tried to set an alarm because I think I might start disarming nuclear missiles somewhere in the world. I have used the navigation feature once and let's just say I figured out what the arrow means after wandering around aimlessly for 40 minutes.

And then I started thinking and realized it's an arranged marriage! We know we are good for eachother we just can't figure out how to use eachother properly. We're slowly getting the hang of it but it seems as if we are both shy to just jump right in! I've pushed it's buttons and it's just shut down on me! Seriously, isn't that what a marriage is about sometimes? We're getting more intimate with eachother as time goes on and I know someday I'll learn to love it, everyone says so. But right now I just want my old cell phone with it's QWERTY keyboard and no bells or whistles attached.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Natalie got her haircut the first couple weeks we were here. She loves going to get pampered a little and really loves getting her hair washed. Of course we asked for the same thing when we got to the store this time. They cut her hair first, and THEN they washed it. But they didn't wash it by the sink. Here in Singapore, well, at least at the place we went to they have another person come and wash her hair AT THE CHAIR! I went to take a picture but my battery had died. So this hairwasher lady squirts the shampoo in Natalie's hair and then slowly starts at the top of her hair rubbing in circles. Every now and then she adds a little more but it never drips down her face or on the floor. Natalie and I are looking at eachother like we really CAN NOT believe how they are doing htis. Then we shrug our shoulders and move along. By the end of the shampoo Natalie has all of her hair piled up on her head in shampoo and not one little bit is in her face, NOT ONE! Then they take her back to the sinks and rinse her hair out. She is ready to go back but I think she should wait for a little bit for it to grow back a little. Her hair is now off her neck and she says it feels a little bit cooler. Next time I promise to get pictures.