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Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm not going to lie

So I checked with my Calendar and it seems we have been in Singapore for 6 full weeks now. I'm not gonna's been harder than I thought it would be. ALOT harder in many ways, but I really wouldn't change it. I still like the adventure I just hate the adjusting.

Like I was telling a new friend, take everything you know...all the old go to's for dinner, or discipline or easy dates and throw it out the window because either they don't work here or you just can't find what you need/want. My laundry is now halved for each load and takes 3 times as long! I don't have a dishwasher and have to turn on a heater for hot water, anywhere in the house!  I can make pancakes but need to do the conversions from cups to milliliters, this is true on any of the cooking, my floors are all wood or marble and I can't find a mop that is worth it.  It's those types of little things that by themselves would not be such a problem but put it all together and it just becomes overwhelming.

Those first couple weeks I felt like everyone wanted me to do the same things I had been doing in Utah to take care of everyone but it just wasn't possible here. Everyone was looking at me to do what I do and fix it, but I couldn't. I felt very inept. We didn't have all of our things and I was unsure where to get most of the other stuff. We did alot of online searching and going all over this Island to find anything and when we found some of our "regular comforts" we ended up paying more. Sometimes we couldn't find our old go to's so we've had to figure other things out. Singapore is very westernized in alot of ways and not so much in others. And it's those others that become too much some days. Those others are the things that stress you out and make you exhausted from just trying to figure it all out!

The thing is I knew it would be an adjustment, we all did and we were all prepared for it as best as we could. I guess I was unprepared for just how much I alone would have to adjust. There were a few days where all I did was lay in bed because the adjustments can be draining. A few days where I didn't want to think AT ALL and some days where I just wanted everyone to leave me alone and figure it out their damn selves! Other times where I've just cried or yelled at Bob because I am lost and don't know what else to do. Neither of us really understood why I was crying or yelling but he indulged me.

I didn't want to write that I had problems or how hard it can be because I don't want to sound like a whiner and I don't want anyone to worry but I can't lie, it's been hard many days. We've all had our ups and downs emotionally and have been struggling to find our new family rhythm. But don't worry, it's all part of the process. We are normal for once! I think we are getting the hang of it a little and we aren't yelling at eachother as much. I think there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.


Amberlie said...

I'm sorry...I can only imagine. I know what you mean by not wanting to whine. Lately I've been having issues, but I never want people to think I can't handle it, so I just keep it in and deal. Today I was really bugged because it's like the "squeaky wheel always gets the oil" I and dangit I wanted some oil!! However, it isn't my personality to be that way. You're awesome for even entertaining this idea, keep up the good work!

Andrea said...

I resemble everything you've written in this post. My first major meltdown was when all 5 of us were hungry and we just wanted food and not Burger King again, dang it! I went to order pizza on the phone and the girl hung up on me because she couldn't understand my name. I threw my hissy and after recovering we were off once again to the MRT headed for Burger King. :)(There are no more Burger King's by the way... "now you see it, now you don't" is a way of life here.)

My husband says that Singapore is just Western enough to make it good to live here and just Asian enough to keep it frustrating.

There is light at the end of the tunnel! And you'll get there for sure!! No worries... :)

Laurel said...

Amberlie, I'd give you oil! I usually keep it all in too but once in awile it just kicks my butt!

Okay Andrea, I had the same experience with the pizza, except I was the one that hung up on them because I couldn't understand them and then made my hubby call because I just didn't have the energy to try and listen to the accent or even decide which pizza was the "most American"! And why do they ask so many questions? of course I want the pizza I called didn't I? UGH! Glad to know it happens to us all.